A Brief Background . . . Until after World War I (1918), sex was officially a sin. Kellogg's Corn Flakes and Graham Crackers were originally promoted as food that calmed the need for sex and masturbation. During the "forties" and "fifties" Catholic school children were taught that willful 'venereal' pleasure was a mortal sin. There has been a cultural bonding of sexuality, sin and shame. Modern Concepts . . . Fortunately much has changed since the first wave of feminism in the "twenties" and the liberation movements of the "sixties". The Kinsey Reports (1948 and 1953) paved the way for the "Sexual Revolution". The development of the birth control pill, sex education in schools, movies, TV, media and the Internet have made sex an everyday topic of conversation and have changed the sexual landscape. The modern perspective, sold by all the media, is that everyone can easily have great sex. The truth is, sex is neither simple nor easy because human sexual desire is complex. Each of us has his or her own unique preferences and fantasies that trigger the sexual desire needed to drive a truly rewarding experience. These strange attracting energizers speak to you or me because our past experience tells us that they promise to satisfy some of the hungers of our heart and/or replay some of the original emotional attachments. These hungers and attractors may range from the simple ego gratification of a 'one night stand' to deeply felt gratification from intimate connection with a beloved partner. Men and women often interpret intimate activities differently which leads to differences in satisfaction. For example, Hugo Holleroth's study (1990) of why men have sexual intercourse identified 26 reasons. The top ten reasons are: To demonstrate self as male To express a non-verbal "I love you" To have intense pleasure To relieve sexual tension To confirm and solidify choice of partner To get to know personality of women To affirm self-worth To solve an interpersonal difficulty To experience control and domination To give comfort to a woman who is distressed A similar study of women which I conducted in 1996 revealed the women's top ten reasons for having intercourse as: To express love To validate self as desirable To be intimately connected and close to partner To please partner To attract a relationship To cement a relationship To experience pleasure To get pregnant To reward a partner for some behavior that pleased her To feel taken care of Next... Lovemaps and Sexual Scripts Kathleen Logan-Prince, MSW, LICSW     Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist    Certified Sex Therapist Phone: (781) 647-9555 Fax: (781) 893-2075