Passion Many people wish they could maintain the lusty sexual desire of early romance. Couples fall in love passionately--Nature's way of creating a bond so that a child has two parents to ensure its survival. The need for sexual passion lessens once the bond is formed--one of Mother Nature's "dirty tricks"! Deeply gratifying, erotic intimacy in a long term relationship doesn't depend on lust as much as the emotional health and maturity of the partners. The critical element is the ability to reveal one's true self with confidence, openness, and honesty with one another. This is possible when each understands that what fuels the flame of sexual desire initially is not the same fuel that keeps the erotic fires burning through the years. Then what counts is the constant demonstration of openness, respect and caring, and avoidance of actions which discount or hurt. Once the glow of the "honeymoon" is over, we become aware of our partners' flaws and defensive about our own. We slip into habits of protective distance. Yet, distancing means keeping secrets and this undermines the intimacy that breeds desire. For intimacy and passion partners need to level with each other and need to be transparent to each other. For the large majority of couples, sex can be no better than their relationship-and their relationship is the sum of their transmissions to each other. (See The Law of Five to One) "Communication is the lifeblood of love" - John Powell Next...Disorders Kathleen Logan-Prince, MSW, LICSW     Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist    Certified Sex Therapist Phone: (781) 647-9555 Fax: (781) 893-2075